noun: A word used by Qadry Ismail on NFL Live to describe the situation in which photos featuring Matt Leinart and multiple women engaging activities involving boozing and schmoozing with the Cardinals' Quarterback surfaced on the internet.
Forget for a second that this happening is a totally irrelevant story with regards to the Arizona Cardinals, but c'mon. Can't someone--anyone-- come up with a more creative headline for a scandal than a formula that looks like:
A noun that refers to an (non) essential feature of the scandal, + -gate
Spygate was a D- grade name for the Patriots videotaping scandal. Cell phone gate? Cell phone gate? What's next, Finalsgate? Midsummerclassicgate? Applepiegate?
I've got it! The Raiders should poison all the fluids in the Denver Broncos' athletic training center! Then we'll have a really great headline: Watergate!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
Old news, but pretty bad
So remember last week when stations like CNN were reporting that Nancy Pelosi was suggesting that President Bush not attend the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics? That same day, ESPN was reporting that Nancy Pelosi was advocating the boycott of the Olympics.
That's right, if you had watched CNN on Wednesday Morning you probably saw the former story, however, if you were listening to Mike and Mike in the morning, you heard Golic and Greenberg talking about how it would be unfair to forbid athletes from participating in the Olympics simply because of China's government. Golic then proceeded to go on a self-indulgent rant about how athletics transcends politics and about how athletes have to work day and night to get to the Olympics and tells us that an athlete should only boycott if he personally cared about Tibet. Golic expressed the opinion that Pelosi's suggestion fails to take into account an athlete's sacrifice.
Now, I know ESPN doesn't have a huge fact-checking budget. They are just a tiny little network trying to scrape by in today's fast-paced world. I assume that it's just a mom and pop operation (run by Ma and Pa Essen-Penn). BUT FUCKING HELL, didn't their producer have CNN on or something so that he could see the actual story and whisper in Greenberg's earpiece, "hey Mike, tell Golic to shut up or I won't have his usual two dozen low-carb doughnuts waiting for him after the show." I don't know how you can get a story this wrong when it is being reported correctly on the major news networks, let alone rant for several minutes about it.
Pelosi was calling for the President to stay home from the opening ceremony. Have you ever seen one of those opening ceremonies? Someone inspirational says a couple of words, people parade by with flags, China gets to show how awesome they are, and then they light the flame with the other flame. The President is going to fall asleep anyway, does any athlete in their right mind care if Bush is watching the pomp and circumstance in the arena as opposed to back at some hotel?
OH BUT GOLIC IS AN ATHLETE. He understands this shit better than Nancy Pelosi and EVERY MAJOR NEWS ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD. Nice job, fat ass.
That's right, if you had watched CNN on Wednesday Morning you probably saw the former story, however, if you were listening to Mike and Mike in the morning, you heard Golic and Greenberg talking about how it would be unfair to forbid athletes from participating in the Olympics simply because of China's government. Golic then proceeded to go on a self-indulgent rant about how athletics transcends politics and about how athletes have to work day and night to get to the Olympics and tells us that an athlete should only boycott if he personally cared about Tibet. Golic expressed the opinion that Pelosi's suggestion fails to take into account an athlete's sacrifice.
Now, I know ESPN doesn't have a huge fact-checking budget. They are just a tiny little network trying to scrape by in today's fast-paced world. I assume that it's just a mom and pop operation (run by Ma and Pa Essen-Penn). BUT FUCKING HELL, didn't their producer have CNN on or something so that he could see the actual story and whisper in Greenberg's earpiece, "hey Mike, tell Golic to shut up or I won't have his usual two dozen low-carb doughnuts waiting for him after the show." I don't know how you can get a story this wrong when it is being reported correctly on the major news networks, let alone rant for several minutes about it.
Pelosi was calling for the President to stay home from the opening ceremony. Have you ever seen one of those opening ceremonies? Someone inspirational says a couple of words, people parade by with flags, China gets to show how awesome they are, and then they light the flame with the other flame. The President is going to fall asleep anyway, does any athlete in their right mind care if Bush is watching the pomp and circumstance in the arena as opposed to back at some hotel?
OH BUT GOLIC IS AN ATHLETE. He understands this shit better than Nancy Pelosi and EVERY MAJOR NEWS ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD. Nice job, fat ass.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Happy St. Patties Day!
Here at Turn Off ESPN!, we don't take a lot of time to compliment half decently written articles about sports. Naturally, we spend a lot of time breaking down work from resident CBS moron Pete Prisco. In a new (and likely only) attempt at defending a sportswriter in this space, I'd like to turn your attention to Prisco's latest article, and some good points he makes in it.
Put simply, and oddly enough, correctly:
" It's so bad that Quinn Gray, the man who was third team behind Leftwich in Jacksonville, is visiting teams, while Leftwich just hopes for a shot.
How can that be? There's a reason Gray was listed third on that Jaguars depth chart. Gray simply isn't as good as Leftwich. "
Leftwich played an above average season in 2004, posting a 2.3% DVOA and 30+ DPAR. In 2005, he posted a 19.3% DVOA and 43.5 DPAR. He was below average in 2006, and missed the final ten games of the season prior to the playoff game.
Here's the point: Everything we know about Byron Leftwich tells us that he is a very talented, and historically productive QB. He's 28 years old, and right in the prime of his career. He's done enough to justify his first round draft status. He's probably NOT a better QB than the man who replaced him, David Garrard. Leftwich, however, should be starting somewhere in this league. If you are the Raiders, Vikings, Lions, Ravens, or Dolphins, why wouldn't you pay Byron Leftwich to play QB for you?
With all the talk about African-American QB's not getting a fair shake in this league, why is Leftwich not getting a chance? Why do Quinn Gray and Cleo Lemon get to bounce from team to team following in the steps of Jeff Blake and Tony Banks, and Byron Leftwich gets no job offers, despite being one of the 32 best QBs in the world and a harbringer of positive PR for a bunch of team's that badly need it.
I just don't get it.
Put simply, and oddly enough, correctly:
" It's so bad that Quinn Gray, the man who was third team behind Leftwich in Jacksonville, is visiting teams, while Leftwich just hopes for a shot.
How can that be? There's a reason Gray was listed third on that Jaguars depth chart. Gray simply isn't as good as Leftwich. "
Leftwich played an above average season in 2004, posting a 2.3% DVOA and 30+ DPAR. In 2005, he posted a 19.3% DVOA and 43.5 DPAR. He was below average in 2006, and missed the final ten games of the season prior to the playoff game.
Here's the point: Everything we know about Byron Leftwich tells us that he is a very talented, and historically productive QB. He's 28 years old, and right in the prime of his career. He's done enough to justify his first round draft status. He's probably NOT a better QB than the man who replaced him, David Garrard. Leftwich, however, should be starting somewhere in this league. If you are the Raiders, Vikings, Lions, Ravens, or Dolphins, why wouldn't you pay Byron Leftwich to play QB for you?
With all the talk about African-American QB's not getting a fair shake in this league, why is Leftwich not getting a chance? Why do Quinn Gray and Cleo Lemon get to bounce from team to team following in the steps of Jeff Blake and Tony Banks, and Byron Leftwich gets no job offers, despite being one of the 32 best QBs in the world and a harbringer of positive PR for a bunch of team's that badly need it.
I just don't get it.
Monday, February 18, 2008
One more thing
Mariotti isn't the only to invoke this argument, but since he's an extraordinarily irritating individual who shouldn't have a job, I'm going to name him.
About Andy Pettitte, can we shut up about some "ball-players code"? That is absurd. It is laughable. IT IS NAUSEATING. Like him outing Clemens violated some kind of "code". He was under oath! He was under oath!
Should he go to prison to save Clemens' ass? We're not talking about if A-Rod had come forward and told us that Robinson Cano looks at gay porn. We're talking about Congress MAKING him talk, with a potential prison sentence on the line. C'mon!!!
Actually, during his press conference today, Pettitte said he didn't what on Earth "ballplayer code" meant. It's just another instance of some pathetic journalists over romanticizing something that is just a game. They are trying to live vicariously through the players they cover and act out some childhood fantasies of "clutch"ness and "ballplayer codes". It's a game. You try to hit the ball with the bat and run around all the bases; you want to keep the other team from running around all the bases. It really is that simple.
Just a game....I love watching it, but it's just a game.
About Andy Pettitte, can we shut up about some "ball-players code"? That is absurd. It is laughable. IT IS NAUSEATING. Like him outing Clemens violated some kind of "code". He was under oath! He was under oath!
Should he go to prison to save Clemens' ass? We're not talking about if A-Rod had come forward and told us that Robinson Cano looks at gay porn. We're talking about Congress MAKING him talk, with a potential prison sentence on the line. C'mon!!!
Actually, during his press conference today, Pettitte said he didn't what on Earth "ballplayer code" meant. It's just another instance of some pathetic journalists over romanticizing something that is just a game. They are trying to live vicariously through the players they cover and act out some childhood fantasies of "clutch"ness and "ballplayer codes". It's a game. You try to hit the ball with the bat and run around all the bases; you want to keep the other team from running around all the bases. It really is that simple.
Just a game....I love watching it, but it's just a game.
Keyshawn Johnson is Burning?
Well let him.
So Keyshawn was doing a little guest host gig today for Jim Rome on that abomination of a show that Rome has. On the bright side, there was no noticeable drop off from the usual. Unfortunately, that's a bad thing.
So Keyshawn or whoever writes for the show referenced a study that found that Derek Jeter is THE worst fielding starting short stop (presumably with a minimum sample size) in the majors. This is sort of something that sabremetricians have been hinting at for a while, so it was quite exciting to hear it mentioned on ESPN. The study evidently goes on to say that the Yankees made a mistake by moving A-Rod to third and keeping Jeter at SS. Again, I totally agree. In all likelihood A-Rod would be a much better fielder if he were playing his natural position, and he would do a better job than Jeter.
Then Keyshawn says that the study is wrong because it fails to account for how "clutch" Jeter is and that Jeter should just laugh it off. Fine, I guess he should laugh it off, because he is making millions of dollars and probably doesn't care. However Keyshawn attempting to say that the study is actually wrong, by citing some voodoo "clutch" argument and Gold Gloves, is downright appalling. First of all, we all know that 99% of why people think Jeter is clutch is because he made that heads up play to flip to Posada in the ALCS years and years ago and nail a sluggish, roided up Giambi. The only sort of honorific that is affected MORE by some small sample size, pretty memories than the Gold Glove, would have to be the moniker "clutch". Neither one of them is an achievement in and of itself, they are both popularity contests that are loosely linked to some isolated achievements and not actual quality of play.
So Keyshawn was doing a little guest host gig today for Jim Rome on that abomination of a show that Rome has. On the bright side, there was no noticeable drop off from the usual. Unfortunately, that's a bad thing.
So Keyshawn or whoever writes for the show referenced a study that found that Derek Jeter is THE worst fielding starting short stop (presumably with a minimum sample size) in the majors. This is sort of something that sabremetricians have been hinting at for a while, so it was quite exciting to hear it mentioned on ESPN. The study evidently goes on to say that the Yankees made a mistake by moving A-Rod to third and keeping Jeter at SS. Again, I totally agree. In all likelihood A-Rod would be a much better fielder if he were playing his natural position, and he would do a better job than Jeter.
Then Keyshawn says that the study is wrong because it fails to account for how "clutch" Jeter is and that Jeter should just laugh it off. Fine, I guess he should laugh it off, because he is making millions of dollars and probably doesn't care. However Keyshawn attempting to say that the study is actually wrong, by citing some voodoo "clutch" argument and Gold Gloves, is downright appalling. First of all, we all know that 99% of why people think Jeter is clutch is because he made that heads up play to flip to Posada in the ALCS years and years ago and nail a sluggish, roided up Giambi. The only sort of honorific that is affected MORE by some small sample size, pretty memories than the Gold Glove, would have to be the moniker "clutch". Neither one of them is an achievement in and of itself, they are both popularity contests that are loosely linked to some isolated achievements and not actual quality of play.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Fred Dean on Who Made the Hall Of Fame
"Cris Carter and 4 other guys"
That's news to Mr. Carter. Congratulations! In fact, Chris Carter did not make the Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility. Perhaps Mr. Dean knew that only one receiver had made it and he logically assumed that it was Carter:
Cris Carter : 234 games, 209 started / 130 TDs / 59.4 YPG
Art Monk : 224 games, 193 started / 68 TDs / 56.8 YPG
Not bad numbers for Monk or anything, but in like 1 additional season worth of starts Chris Carter has double the touchdowns. Plus, he had more yardage, even adjusting for games. Now I know Carter played for that one freakishly good Minnesota offense, but he also played for some pretty bad teams. Of course the biggest crime is that these two are not mutually exclusive. Just because they put in Monk doesn't mean they couldn't put in the other guy who is pretty obviously better.
So anyway, I was watching the AFC Pro Bowl team play the Cowboys + Adrian Peterson when I heard the quote that inspired this.
Friday, February 8, 2008
National Signing Day is Over
And the results are in.
Notre Dame's recruiting class ranks well, but some services like it more that others. More specifically, ESPN is being it's usual sourpuss self:
2nd - Rivals
2nd - Scout
2nd - CSTV
9th - ESPN
Notre Dame's recruiting class ranks well, but some services like it more that others. More specifically, ESPN is being it's usual sourpuss self:
2nd - Rivals
2nd - Scout
2nd - CSTV
9th - ESPN
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