Thursday, September 13, 2007

Welcome to Dr. Z's house of madness

So, we haven't updated for a while, but Dr. Z's first power ratings of the season came out, so it's hard not to feel like a kid in a candy store. Let's take a look at this:
10. Chicago Bears (0-1)
San Diego LB Matt Wilhelm on the instructions his position coach Ron Rivera gave about trash talking to Rex Grossman: "He told us that Rex was kind of a mental midget so you can get into his head and create that doubt." Careful, there's not much room.
Hmmm. Nice little anecdote to lead into the analysis. Oh, that's all? I guess Ron Rivera could be decently familiar with Rex, since he was in the same building very often in his tenure with the Bears. Didn't really deal with the offensive players much, so it might just be some bold talk he used to fire up his team...nah, football coaches never do that. Anyway, Dr. Z decided to put the Bears, 2 time defending NFC North Champions 10th, behind the Titans, Panthers, Bengals, Cowboys (whose defense allowed Manning to throw for 312 yards and 4 touchdowns in a partial game, and allowed Derrick -fucking- Ward to hang a 6.8 average for 89 yards rushing) and the Broncos who barely scraped by the Bills. His supporting evidence for this? Ron Rivera says Grossman is a mental midget. That is why the Bears lost to a team with Philip Rivers, LT, Antonio Gates, and Shawn "Gigantour" Merriman. Not the three lost fumbles, or Benson's ineffectiveness, or the Chargers getting all kinds of pressure.

Besides, how is it insulting to say that Grossman's head isn't full of a lot of space? That's just an inept insult. If he's dumb, his head should be ALL space. Unless Dr. Z was just saying that Grossman's head is unusually small (the Juan Pierre of quarterbacks? nope, just wrong).

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