Wednesday, November 14, 2007

This just in, the 72 Dolphins are all assholes

Mercury Morris, running back and douchebag extradinaire spoke out this week, explaining that the Patriots are nowhere near accomplishing the great achievement of his 72 Dolphins. The always modest Morris pointed out that no one has surpassed their magnificence yet, and that the Patriots have 10 more games to go (though this is a matter of opinion, since the Dolphins of course played fewer games).

Here are some totally unrelated facts:
  • 72 Dolphins' opponent winning% .396
  • 72 Dolphins' points scored-points allowed 14 game season : 214
  • 2007 Patriots points scored-points allowed 9 games in: 208
I don't even like the Patriots, but if they do it, they will be about a hundred thousand times better than the 72 Dolphins, and I sort of wouldn't mind seeing it just to shut these old farts up. That said, I think every football fan secretly hopes it's his favorite team that finally gets to do the honors.

Just for comparison, and as a contingency in case the Pats don't make it:
  • 85 Bears' opponent winning% .500
  • 85 Bears' points scored - points allowed (including fluky Miami loss) ADJUSTED TO 14 GAME SEASON: 225.75
    (originally 258)

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