FJR or GOD DAMNIT HE DID IT AGAIN

Jim Rome has described the Tribe's collapse in the ALCS this past week as devasting, on par with when "Craig Ehlo got posterized by Number 45 [sic!]" or The Drive (by John Elway). He then proceeded to chalk it up to part of Cleveland's nature, as though there was something about the city of Cleveland that caused all of these events. Of course, that makes sense! It had nothing to do with Jordan being almost certainly the best basketball player ever to touch a ball, or with John Elway and the rest of the Broncos being really good, or with "coincidence". The implication being that slightly-above-average Craig Ehlo should have stuffed that shot right back in the face of the best ever, and only failed to because Cleveland must always lose. (Never mind that they made it to the Finals this very year)

More importantly, what the fuck is this "Number 45" bullshit. Clearly, Jordan hadn't even worn #23 when he was kicking Ehlo's ass in the 1989 playoffs. When they met again in the 96 finals, with Ehlo as a benchwarmer, Jordan was again #23. The only reason he ever wore #45 was that he was so amazingly good that his number was retired almost instantly. Is Jim Rome such a prick that he has to come up with a second-grader-esque nickname to tease Michael Jordan? Honest to God, I know I should be dead to it by now, but I am SHOCKED that anyone could be on television without exhibiting more maturity. I guess he's trying to make fun of Jordan for retiring? Maybe? Never mind the fact that Jordan retired to challenge himself, and attributed his decision to his father's tragic death. Jim Rome is nothing if not classy.

To be fair, perhaps Jim Rome doesn't really understand the social institution of family. He later blasted Steinbrenner's kid for referring to Big Stein as "my dad", rather than "the boss" or "Steinbrenner". Clearly it had nothing to do with the fact that "my dad" is a bazillion times less ambiguous than both of the asinine suggestions and less robotic and insulting to our intelligence than saying "George Steinbrenner" 30 times. that Jim Rome spent his time preparing. Nor did it have anything to do with the fact that "my dad" is the most natural way to refer to his father, and was a habit he's had for 40-years or so.